Baseball 9

When men do coffee, it's usually gentle, though sometimes appears otherwise to the unitiated.
Certain topics are ok: sport, work, a bit of light politics, doings of various friends and relatives, vehicles, consumer electronics, vacations.
The needling lacks any viciousness, whimsical, humorous, bit of a bonding experience.
On rare occasions, a group will show its teeth, as the team did to me. Still, it's not meant to be cruel, just a message, "please go away, you aren't one of the wolf pack anymore. Just have enough good sense to find another crowd to run with."
Sex is ok as a topic, but usually with fairly tight limits. Ok to say you went to bed with someone; usually bad taste to say what happened. Ok to say who you would like to.
Often, men deny sex.
"So, got so-and-so Friday?"
"No I didn't, we were just talking."
"So why'd you leave at the same time?"
"Same Metro route."
Usually the denial involves the woman being less attractive. Whether the other men believe the denial or not, they won't challenge it. Why? Next week, could be them. Pretend to believe your buddy now, next week he returns the favor.
And #1, thou shalt not unburden in front of the group. Real men don't unburden period. If - God forbid - it's necessary, do it privately with your best friend.
Ok to talk about humorous problems your wife, girlfriend or kids caused; I mean no serious unburdening.
The audit team (1/4 men, 3/4 women) heads together for coffee.
The men all head to one end of the long table. Zohra tells me to slide in next to them.
And so I hear both sets of conversation.
For the men, little different from what the Triple A guys would say. Better grammar the only real difference.
The woman, I just plain don't believe it. Graphic gory sex, way beyond what I've ever heard before. The level of cruelty takes my breath away. Indira and two others excel in b****y sadistic comments.
Zohra stays outa the womens' conversation, vaguely follows the mens'.
As we leave, she tells me, "see how it is, always sit near the men."
"If Indira were a guy, talked like that in a bar, she'd be dead, probably a dozen times over by now."
"Now you see what I have to live with, Quentin."
The Team Leader wants to see Zohra, "I have a bit of a problem. Indira has declared a conflict of interest. All audits are of course drawn for randomly. Indira got the Triple A baseball team. With that recent breakup with that player, she is unable to be completely impartial. If you take the file, it doesn't increase your workload. I'll choose one of yours, about the same size, give it to Indira."
"I dislike sports in general. Where exactly does one draw the line?"
"Let's say you had dated a baseball player; he assaulted you; police charges. Or say your father used to take you to home games, get stinking drunk, embarrass you. Those things would qualify as COI. Just a vague dislike, no. Lots of people have vague dislikes of lots of industries. So you think it over, get back to me. Tell me if you believe you could be impartial; that is, treat them no different than a commercial laundry or restaurant."
Arriving back at the desk, she asks, "so Quentin, your take?"
"Zohra you will not find an easier file, for that size of operation. No profit, negligible level of loss to verify. Only fulltime employee is Hannigan and that's during season. Off season, he's a CA. No player salaries. Few casuals for ticket sales and grounds work. Mr Sanderson the owner does not do the concession. He's a generous soul, gives the booth free of charge to the Cancer Society. They use it as a fund raiser. Only real work, verify GST (Goods and Services Tax) on ticket sales."
She laughs, "so I gain production time. No matter what file Indira gets, I come out a winner. I'll wait a couple days to tell the TL."
"You mean let her sweat?"
"No, let her think I had to do serious thinking."
She phones the tollfree line to get lottery numbers. After copying these, she rechecks, twice.
She has thirty tickets, each with six numbers (6/49). It takes her forever to check, double check and triple check. She gets one free ticket, consigns the rest to waste.
Real battle then starts, but not with the taxpayer, with Finance. Her overtime and travel expense cheques arrived while she was away.
She is utterly determined Finance ripped her off three kilometers, about $1.50. After a struggle, she is still unable to reconcile her previous claim. She zips off a blistering email to Finance, blaming them of course.
She is equally certain Personnel ripped off 1/4 hour of overtime. This time, she finds the error. The email - ouch - let's just say if Mr Churchill and Herr Hitler had exchanged such letters, World War 2 would have started several years earlier.
Lunchtime, it takes forever standing in line at the convenience store downstairs. Wednesday's pot will be elevated so every bureaucrat and his dog is buying.
Returns to desk with a clamshell of food. Halfway through this, the Tech Advisor shows. They spend well over an hour, arguing furiously. Zero tax dollars are at stake; it's the artistic layout of a table. I suspect both thoroughly enjoy the argument.
She calls up CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation) site, checks news and weather. By now, it's afternoon coffee.
She asks the men what they thought of the baseball player who was recently slain.
"You did know, he used to be Indira's boyfriend?"
"I don't mean that, how was he on the field?"
"Great fielder. Charge line drives, perfect slide, pull the catch out of the dirt. Or climb the wall with a perfect jump, steal away your homer. Try and round first on him, gun you down at second, arm like a cannon."
"How'd he bat?"
"Their DH died a while ago, auto accident. Between him and this lad, that was the offence."
"So, you mean maybe no team next year?"
"Don't underestimate Coach Hannigan. He's had his back to the wall before. Maybe he'll find hitting."