Lily 15

My fellow North Americans in this residence tend to bring their previous life habits. We don't have serious alcoholics or druggies, but a solid majority is thoroughly hooked on satellite TV, computer games and/or internet.
They don't socialize much with each other, let alone with the surrounding Haredim.
For me, opposite, it's like I've been adopted into Ruth's family. She does an evening course once weekly and I cheerfully babysit. Her children are well behaved; act like I'm their aunt.
She invites me for dinner sometimes; other times I take her and the children for ice cream.
As I get to know her neighbors, I soon see a majority have good family life. Yes there are a few bad eggs, but one can say the same of any group.
I had always assumed Haredim were humorless, uptight, closed minded. I soon see she and the rest are anything but. As we get to know each other better, I even tell her embarrassing stuff like my former fiance.
One day she starts out a little tentatively, could she ask well, now Yakob, who works down at the grocery store we both go to, well it seems he has a lowgrade scandal in his background too.
In his case, it involves his wife divorcing him because he proved to be the guilty party, as to why they could not have children. She has since remarried, has some.
For his part, he's viewed as a bit disreputable because of this. Goes to work, hides at home afterward. And since I can't have any either, would I at least like to talk with him?
Is he the sort to insist I convert?
No, only important if children are involved. Without them, mixing Reform and Haredi makes no real difference.
I agree, he and I will both show at her place for Sabbath dinner.
He is a nice, well mannered, well read guy, but so deathly shy it's unlikely to ever get done.
Still, next day Ruth informs me things went lots better than I thought. Her husband Nathan likes me, talked privately with Yakob.
Apparently Nathan laid it out in no uncertain terms. No Haredi woman wants you; you don't want a secular Israeli. Meaning if you don't find someone from that batch of North American Jews, plan on a long lonely life. And don't be prejudiced because she happens to be deaf.
A secular might well have told Nathan to mind his own business. Not a Haredi, they are simply that much more into helping each other through life's problems.