Susan 3

So here I am, Saturday morning, sitting in an uncomfortable folding chair in the Armory, along with a hundred bemused others. Why? The letter - sent registered - promised all sorts of mayhem to any who failed to show, without pre-authorized absence.
It's fairly easy to see how the presence of a military draft in Canada would have escaped my attention. After all, it's not like I bother with newspapers - that ultraOrthodox upbringing.
What surprises me is no one else around appears to have known of it either. Must be small and low-key.
A fat leather dyke looking Sgt had been checking attendance at the door. Soon she proclaims all to be present except two authorized absences.
A Col rises, "good morning everyone, thank you so much for fitting me into your busy schedule. My experience has been that people simply do not function well when they don't understand the why. Further they don't understand the why til they know the history."
Loud groans.
Cheeky grin, "bear with me, I'll keep it short and not so sweet."
Her eyes scan the crowd, stop on me, points, "you there, yes you, stand up."
I do.
"You look like you didn't sleep through history class. Turn your mind back over a century; post World War 2, the Lester Pearson and Pierre Trudeau era. Describe Canada's military, and be as unflattering as you think necessary."
"Characterized by chronic foot dragging on all NATO commitments, ma'am, always seeking out the cheapest and easiest job. But #1 in the world in peacekeeping."
"Very good, don't stop now. What killed off the glory days of peacekeeping?"
"Beyond doubt, ma'am, Afghanistan. The Liberals led the way in, but only in a peacekeeping role. The Harper Conservative government switched that to an out and out combat role."
"What happened next?"
"They got sucked into pro-Bush Iraq ventures, ma'am."
"I see, and just how did the voters react to that?"
"With absolute fury, ma'am. Ever since, it's been total isolationism, won't even accept peacekeeping roles."
Sly grin, Col says, "there you go. I didn't bore you with history, one of your own did."
Roars of laughter.
"Here's where we come in. Like every other issue in this overregulated land, the Supreme Court of Canada has declared total equality between genders in the Canadian Forces. As it happens, sufficient men always step forward, a draft is never needed. Sufficient women do not. Some of our activities include leasing the air bases at Gander and Moose Jaw to USAF; providing them with perimeter security.
"Don't even think of calling your own Doctor; you'll deal with ours. Assuming you're healthy enough; all of you go. Now, questions?"
Oh yes; lotsa them; very hostile.
I've been given a card, my time for the medical. All is routine till I'm asked about special dietary; I reply kosher.
With that, Doctor takes me to Col's office.
Col examines my file, "live alone eh?"
"Yes ma'am."
"No one else you cook for? No guests coming over?"
"No ma'am."
She drives me to my apartment in the Jeep, checks my cupboards and verifies I have two sets of dishes.
Reading the official exemption letter, I realize I could be in trouble later. They haven't exempted me for all time; merely stated it is not viable to feed me now. They reserve the right to change this later.
As weeks slide by, I let it drop; just one of those close things. So, imagine my surprise to find myself summoned to another meeting with this same Col.
She introduces me to Gen Strasser, from HQ, who manages somehow to look both hard and beautiful. Appraising look, "raised Gur Hasidic, my guess."
I sense the trap; of course show knows otherwise; trying to provoke indiscreet reaction.
"No Gen, Lithuanian school of thought."
"What are the differences?"
"Well Gen, Lithuanian is more into intense study; Hasids more into song and dance."
Indulgent smile, "that's men doing either. As for the women, a lot less difference. Ignoring the differences in sexual practices permitted; the womens' lives are nearly identical, are they not? As in, working to support Mr Wonderful as he does all this?"
"I sense insult in your tone, Gen, perhaps an apology would be in order."
Easy smile, "ok, I'm sorry if it sounded a bit nasty. Now answer my quesiton. Are the lives of the women remarkably parallel or are they not?"
"They are, Gen."
She opens a file, "your blood chart, completely clean, no drug history whatsoever. Maybe one in a thousand shows up like that. When we see it, we don't believe in wasting. Of late, we've been criticized that a lot of minorities seem to wangle exemptions. Our math shows once you gather a platoon, you've achieved critical mass for food. Then, anything like kosher or halal is possible."
I groan inwardly.
"For that, a platoon commander is needed, a Lieutenant. That's you, you're going for a course in Ottawa. Four months, after that, you're qualified as a Reservist Lt. We may not activate at that time, but we have the right to in future, assuming we find you sufficient followers."
I counter-attack, "and just how am I going to get food through this course?"
Grin, "you ever hear of apartment hotels, kitchenette included, rent by the month? We'll get you two sets of dishes and a food allowance, do your own shopping."
"I would suggest Gen, your plan is crazy, bordering on criminal negligence. To actually combine Hasids and Lithuanians? You or whoever advised you is outa their minds."
Both Col and Gen roar with laughter.
Gen smiles sweetly, "wll now, you just passed the test. I vastly prefer officers who call it as they see it. For sure you're in now."
I grooooan inwardly, but what can you do?

Gen Strasser smiles as she stands in front of a dozen of us, "let's have some fun. Everyone has to say how they left the parental home. After that, the others ask questions. I'll lead off. Between second and third year of university, I ran off to San Francisco with my neo-hippy boyfriend."
Someone asks, "how'd it work out?"
"Not as well as I'd hoped. Before he'd been there a week, he decided he was Gay with a capital G."
Howls of laughter.
With other questions, they soon pin her into an admission that sex had been unequal in the oral department.
I start tentatively, "well actually my parents threw me out. They refused to accept the job I'd taken at Birnbaum Publishing. Said it was too secular."
Someone asks, "would you agree that, though the books are published for adults, there is nothing Birnbaum publishes that you could not display in your main bookshelves, and your kids see?"
"Certainly, it's been company policy since Day One."
"Would you further agree they could improve the bottom line by loosening a bit?"
"Economically, probably; reputation is another matter."
Lt Savard, complete with charming French accent, says, "hands up all who say she's lying, hiding something big."
At least half.
Lt Savard continues, "come on now, don't BS me, I'm from Montreal, seen lotsa you Jews. This here is a manufactured scandal, right? For the benefit of the resta you, works like this. Family loyalties ain't what they were in the past. Now it's devil take the hindmost. Don't have enough money to marry off all the daughters, you unload the least likely. Lifeboat ethics."
I start to blush.
Smart-ass tone, "now Lt Nachtenstein, I ask you, have you at least once considered that this is what really happened? Despite what they say?"
"I'd prefer not to answer."
Gen Strasser jumps in, "park all that garbage at the door. Here we have to trust each other; at some point, we could die together. Answer the question."
"The intention of someone is not known to humans; only G-d knows for sure."
Smug look, "fair enough, give it your best guess."
"Of course you're correct. I've seen many sins, far worse, left unpunished, and by stricter parents."
I sit feeling miserable; does not last long.
Lt Savard was thrown out following a huge argument at the grandparents' farm. Two of the girls with farm backgrounds soon trap her into revealing it was after being caught in flagrantis during bestiality.