Minda 14

During the regime of Ms Birnbaum, just under half of inmates had been on mandatory counselling programs. These were of course the ones with the most heavy duty symptomology. Not surprisingly, a large number of them detest counselling, prefer living in a state of denial.
Those doing counselling on a voluntary basis have an almost frivolous nature towards it. They tend to be largely attention seekers. It's tough not to laugh when someone seriously asserts that choosing the wrong clothes for a high school dance (and the perceived rejection) led to her life of crime. Most normal people get over stuff like that.
Warden was well meaning offering to make counselling voluntary during this interim period. And yes, she privately admitted to me after that she'd goofed.
But democracy being what it is, that's what people had voted on.
At least at JFS the stakes were real. Real marriages and real credit ratings on the line. Here and now, it assumes comic opera proportions.
When we learn Ms Birnbaum will be returning to another place in the prison system, my morale sinks to the bottom of the deepest ocean trench.
What came next was not a halucination fueled by booze or prescription meds, that I can guarantee. No booze here at all. Oh yes, it's easy to smuggle in, but no one wants it. Their ten year old physiology reacts to it with extreme violence. Similarly, there's only one person here on a prescription and that ain't me.
Nowadays I avoid the Day Room like the bubonic plague. Too many of my pseudo serious counsellees jump on me. In over earnest tones, they expound yet further on the high school dance or such.
Nowadays when I lounge back in an easy chair, it's always the one in my room.
I feel momentarily dizzy. Reopening my eyes, I discover myself and chair are now in a sci fi setting.
There's a dozen green men and women, four feet tall in uniform with officer insignia.
The youngest male speaks, in a metallic tone as if coming through a translator, "I am First Lieutenant Xero Xavier Xar. You are in the officers wardroom aboard SS Gargantuan. And you are Ms Minda Zilberg?"
"Yes Lt."
"I would state this translator is not 100% reliable with Earthling nuance. If I should say something offensive, it is certainly not my intent, merely progamming shortcomings. I apologize for not offering refreshment. It would take testing to determine whether your altered metabolism would accept our beverages."
"That's ok Lt."
"Ms Zilberg to begin. SS Gargantuan is the single most prestigious vessel of our anthropological fleet. Just try to guess why, I mean you being a counsellor and all."
"Not too hard to guess Lt. Everywhere else in what is your known universe the sentient life forms have a cool rationality to them. Easy to study their societies, easy to categorize. None can match the Earthlings in their sheer psychotic chronic dysfunctional disorder and mess."
The laughter of all present assures me I've hit the target with at least some precision.
Lt gives a boyish grin, "so glad you understand, it makes the rest of it easier. Gathered here is an entirely informal Council of Justice. And ah well, it isn't aimed at you, but at me. I have sinned, and greatly. But nothing which would reach my formal file. These good people are like two nanoseconds away from voting me off this ship, onto some backwater research. That is, unless I aid you and quickly too."
"Why me Lt?"
A female voice, older, obviously used to a lot of authority, got the most braid on her uniform, "it is the judgment of this Council you are the one Earthling who has created the worst screwed up mess."
I don't know whether I should feel flattered or insulted.
Lt resumes, "to satisfy this Council, I must get you a fresh start and in a way considered safe by our techies. In a few minutes, you will be in the body of another Earthling. This person is now in a state of clinically dead, brought about by a fever. You will recover from this fever and quickly, retain all your memories plus this person's."
"Thank you so much Lt."
"Ms Zilberg, please take my advice and refrain from any further murders. It is against our policy to ever aid the same Earthling twice."
Drily I reply, "yes Lt."
Grin, "sorry if that sounded heavy. Your body will be discovered in your room. The autopsy will doubtless convince the prison authorities it is a genuine heart attack. Good luck in your new venture."
And then, I black out.
When I awake next morning, it's in a different room, with a burnt out post fever feeling.
Dad stares into his paper at breakfast, looking near homicidally angry. And why? Doubtless the hungover look on older brother. Mum snaps to get in gear, eat faster.
Taking school bag and lunch I exit, meet an East Indian girl of 10 or 11. Memory says her name is Lata.
Looks at me evaluating, "you feeling ok?"
"Think I had a bit of fever last night Lata."
"Explains why you don't seem yourself. So, you thought it'd be easier to just go to school and snooze there than to risk the Spanish Inquisition from your Mum."
We both laugh and that is the end of her scrutiny of me.
Upon arrival at school we join a group including my daugher Minda and that other TO girl. Oh yes, Rachel, gambling scandal in the family.
Lata grins, passes a half dozen manga comics to Rachel, "and now, your turn for a funny family story."
Rachel flashes a wicked smile, "this uncle of mine at U of T, math prof, wierdest of the lot. Did a lot of nocturnal wandering. And yet not drinking or doing drugs.
"One night, cops caught him in the act. Had a master key, opening parking meters. Got a search warrant, found 88 grand worth of coins hidden in a corner of his basement."
Lowd howls of laughter.
"Never did charge him. Full restitution plus his agreement to visit them no mind counsellors at Jewish Family Services."
More laughter.
Oh well, it's a fresh start. I won't repeat my mistakes.
And yes, I'll keep an eye on Minda, make sure she behaves.
Will I ever tell her who I really am? Go on, think I'm that nuts?
The bell rings. Feeling more optimistic than I have in ages, I go in.
Same class as Minda. Should be easy to do my parental duty. Only one problem. Don't overdo things or she might catch wise.