FARZANA 3
As I sit eating, a realization comes. First time I've ever belonged to any group, was an outcast back in Canada. But these girls in B14 have simply accepted me. But what an awful group to belong to. What do I believe anymore? Is this all just a nightmare? Will I wake up?
Malali wraps an arm around me, "Farzana, you can trust Arezou on that workbook stuff, but she's hopeless on math. I'd be glad to show you that."
"Thank you so much, very kind of you."
As we take a break from math, Arezou comes up, "Farzana, took up a collection. Ain't no Afghan girl anywhere doesn't have these. Put six on each arm."
It's bracelets. I hesitate, suppose I never get back now. "Come on now, don't be shy, not charity, a gift cause we like you."
What can you do? I put them on.
For the next few days, my new friends carry me through a bewildering variety of experience, in class and out. Finally a chance to repay. First English class, "new girl, front and centre. Read this passage." I do, unaware of the total hush. At the end, I look up, see total awe on the faces of teacher and students.
Silence hangs in the air a few seconds. Quiet tone, teacher says, "I better watch out, you'll take my job away. Already better than I."
We return to barrack, the break between class and supper. Shyly I ask, "anyone like to maybe practise today's English lesson a bit?"
Arifa listens to us mystified. After, "lemme guess, aid worker stayed with your family."
"Sort of."
Malali hugs me, "let's roll, chow. Let's freak out other tables, talk the English lesson."
After some minutes of riotous re-enactment, the mess sgt appears and we all fall silent. She points to me, "kid, English that good, it's officer corps for sure."
I see a lotta taboo topics here. Not allowed to discuss rules in B14 are stricter than other barracks. And this is like the French Foreign Legion, you absolutely never ask a girl anything about her past life prior to arrival here.
I wonder but don't ask. Do you ever graduate B14? Or a lifer? Adding the evidence, the latter. But then, would you really fit with any other group?
They're not unkind. Food is great. Though strict, Arifa doesn't beat you up. It's just never one minute of privacy, night or day.
My friendship with Arezou pays off academically. I'm soon the second best (after her) writer in B14. Her English goes way up. With Malali's influence, I'm doing lots better in math than back in Canada.
My accent has overpowered everyone. All of B14 has Canadian accents, not the sort-of Brit accent of our instructor.
We're lounging before supper, when an unusual group enters B14. A girl from B12 (shoulder flash), the Lieutenant I saw at first and the mess sgt.
The girl speaks loud and clear, "this isn't the grown-ups' idea, ours. See we girls in B12 are bombing in English. We'd like to ask your help."
I see mocking expressions.
She doesn't flinch, looks me straight in the eye, "we didn't come empty-handed."
Curiosity replaces mockery.
Lt smiles, "here's rules. It's alla you or none. If you do choose to be generous, Thursday is picnic day. For every two of you in B14, say a half-dozen in B12, practise English together. Sgt, please be so kind as to to tell people the menu."
Sgt does. I see my friends' expressions. Arezou breaks the ice, hugs me, "think you and I could deal with six?"
I hug her back and that's it, the rest rapidly pair up.
The B12 girl comes over to Arezou and me, "I'd consider it a huge honor if me and my friends could be in your group."
Arezou and I look at each other, nod.
"I'm Gulazar," she says pleasantly, "think you two could join our little group for supper?"
As Arezou and I come through the food line, Gulazar stands, waves. No question of the warmth of our welcome. Gulazar, Nasiba, Bobogal, Nilo, Fereshta, and Meena are ultra-friendly. Not one word on anything taboo or unpleasant.
Other B14 people also seem to get on well with their B12 counterparts.
As Arezou and I undress, I say tentatively, "funny thing, seems their friendships aren't as good as ours."
I see tears in her eyes.
Shyly I continue, "take you and me, we're lots better friends than any of that crowd."
She wraps both arms around me, "know what it means, you talking like that?"
"No."
"Means you're laying the horror to rest, moving on. Able to feel again, at least a little. You'll be fine."
I blush fiercely.
"Look Farzana, it's lots worse for you. Far end of the Corridor, just that much worse. For every pound I ate, you'd have eaten ten."
"Come on girls," Arifa calls out, "move it, almost lights out."
As I lie down, I turn, see the warmth, friendship, love all over Arezou's face. I wink, she winks back and the lights go out.
Breakfast, Gulazar and gang wave us over.
"Guess what we've been talkin?" Nilo asks. "see we've been comparing friendships. Seems like pretty much all you people do better than us."
"You don't say," Arezou smiles.
Meena, "see, it's like the army. Paras bond better than infantry. Infantry better than back-area people. See, we know we had it easy, bunch of wimps. We sit, complain of a few hot hours in a bus. But you taught us something, we're gonna work on friendships."
Strict rules? You ain't whistling Dixie. Each group wears a different color ribbon. Want a bathroom break behind the rocks? Gotta take your friend and tell the adult in charge of your small group. No one permitted within 100 meters of the ocean, signpost up. No Dari permitted except for a short explanation.
Still, only game in town and we're happy to go. My group draws the mess sgt. Gulazar twists a smile, "bad news, no wandering from the food jeep. Good news, she plays favorite, brings a special treat for her group."
We have a wonderful time of it, all the fresh air and companionship. In fact, we opt to go as a group Friday too. By the end of two days together, a lot of new friendships have formed.
"Arezou, Farzana, over here." We take our trays, join our B12 friends. I can sense they have something important to say everyone looking sheepishly at everyone else.
Nilo takes the plunge, "we've signed a petition. All 40 girls in B12 and our Barrack Leader too. We want you two transferred over to us."
Neither reply as it sinks in.
Gulazar smiles, "see we're all friends anyhow. Nobody cares beans about that you-know-what-I-mean in the past. Good for both sides, you escape the prison barrack, we get better English by running into you over time."
Nilo jumps in, "so whaddya think?"
Arezou and I look at each other. By now, we have a sort of mindlink, know what the other will think a lotta the time.
I start, "sounds nice. But my understanding, you never get to leave B14."
Nilo looks at me, "that's ridiculous. Not fair to lock you up for life. Not your fault what happened, had to stay alive. They should try, get you people back to a normal social life. So, wanna sign?"
Arezou and I look at each other. She smiles gently, "Farzana, we have a duty to our friends. See if no one ever makes the first move, they just keep us separated forever. If we go and it works, then it helps everyone in B14."
I blush hotly, "sometimes I get so caught up in me and you, I forget about the rest."
Gulazar hugs me warmly, as does Nilo; both hug Arezou.
Nilo grins, "my guess, they'll hafta interview you, see if you're ok. So behave."
Drily I reply, "I promise not to bite her arm." Everyone roars with laughter.
A few days later, I'm brushing Arezou's hair when the office messenger comes, gives Arifa a card. Tomorrow, appointment for me.
It's the same Lt I saw on first arriving. I can't believe her office, heaps of paper all about.
She leans back in her chair, sucks on a pencil like a cigarette. "So, we'll let the past lie. Don't much care what your views are on Fern now. What's important is how things are now. So are you sleeping ok?"
"Mostly, ma'am."
"Nightmares?"
"Yes ma'am, but nowhere near as bad."
"Wanna talk about the nightmares or not?"
"No, ma'am."
"I see you're getting good marks. Like school?"
"Yes ma'am, teachers are kind."
"One question. How important is Arezou to you? Let's say I refuse to let her go, but let you? Would you go alone?"
"No ma'am, Arezou comes first, stay with her."
Smile, "exactly what we want, loyalty. Assuming Arezou is ok, you two can go."
Malali wraps an arm around me, "Farzana, you can trust Arezou on that workbook stuff, but she's hopeless on math. I'd be glad to show you that."
"Thank you so much, very kind of you."
As we take a break from math, Arezou comes up, "Farzana, took up a collection. Ain't no Afghan girl anywhere doesn't have these. Put six on each arm."
It's bracelets. I hesitate, suppose I never get back now. "Come on now, don't be shy, not charity, a gift cause we like you."
What can you do? I put them on.
For the next few days, my new friends carry me through a bewildering variety of experience, in class and out. Finally a chance to repay. First English class, "new girl, front and centre. Read this passage." I do, unaware of the total hush. At the end, I look up, see total awe on the faces of teacher and students.
Silence hangs in the air a few seconds. Quiet tone, teacher says, "I better watch out, you'll take my job away. Already better than I."
We return to barrack, the break between class and supper. Shyly I ask, "anyone like to maybe practise today's English lesson a bit?"
Arifa listens to us mystified. After, "lemme guess, aid worker stayed with your family."
"Sort of."
Malali hugs me, "let's roll, chow. Let's freak out other tables, talk the English lesson."
After some minutes of riotous re-enactment, the mess sgt appears and we all fall silent. She points to me, "kid, English that good, it's officer corps for sure."
I see a lotta taboo topics here. Not allowed to discuss rules in B14 are stricter than other barracks. And this is like the French Foreign Legion, you absolutely never ask a girl anything about her past life prior to arrival here.
I wonder but don't ask. Do you ever graduate B14? Or a lifer? Adding the evidence, the latter. But then, would you really fit with any other group?
They're not unkind. Food is great. Though strict, Arifa doesn't beat you up. It's just never one minute of privacy, night or day.
My friendship with Arezou pays off academically. I'm soon the second best (after her) writer in B14. Her English goes way up. With Malali's influence, I'm doing lots better in math than back in Canada.
My accent has overpowered everyone. All of B14 has Canadian accents, not the sort-of Brit accent of our instructor.
We're lounging before supper, when an unusual group enters B14. A girl from B12 (shoulder flash), the Lieutenant I saw at first and the mess sgt.
The girl speaks loud and clear, "this isn't the grown-ups' idea, ours. See we girls in B12 are bombing in English. We'd like to ask your help."
I see mocking expressions.
She doesn't flinch, looks me straight in the eye, "we didn't come empty-handed."
Curiosity replaces mockery.
Lt smiles, "here's rules. It's alla you or none. If you do choose to be generous, Thursday is picnic day. For every two of you in B14, say a half-dozen in B12, practise English together. Sgt, please be so kind as to to tell people the menu."
Sgt does. I see my friends' expressions. Arezou breaks the ice, hugs me, "think you and I could deal with six?"
I hug her back and that's it, the rest rapidly pair up.
The B12 girl comes over to Arezou and me, "I'd consider it a huge honor if me and my friends could be in your group."
Arezou and I look at each other, nod.
"I'm Gulazar," she says pleasantly, "think you two could join our little group for supper?"
As Arezou and I come through the food line, Gulazar stands, waves. No question of the warmth of our welcome. Gulazar, Nasiba, Bobogal, Nilo, Fereshta, and Meena are ultra-friendly. Not one word on anything taboo or unpleasant.
Other B14 people also seem to get on well with their B12 counterparts.
As Arezou and I undress, I say tentatively, "funny thing, seems their friendships aren't as good as ours."
I see tears in her eyes.
Shyly I continue, "take you and me, we're lots better friends than any of that crowd."
She wraps both arms around me, "know what it means, you talking like that?"
"No."
"Means you're laying the horror to rest, moving on. Able to feel again, at least a little. You'll be fine."
I blush fiercely.
"Look Farzana, it's lots worse for you. Far end of the Corridor, just that much worse. For every pound I ate, you'd have eaten ten."
"Come on girls," Arifa calls out, "move it, almost lights out."
As I lie down, I turn, see the warmth, friendship, love all over Arezou's face. I wink, she winks back and the lights go out.
Breakfast, Gulazar and gang wave us over.
"Guess what we've been talkin?" Nilo asks. "see we've been comparing friendships. Seems like pretty much all you people do better than us."
"You don't say," Arezou smiles.
Meena, "see, it's like the army. Paras bond better than infantry. Infantry better than back-area people. See, we know we had it easy, bunch of wimps. We sit, complain of a few hot hours in a bus. But you taught us something, we're gonna work on friendships."
Strict rules? You ain't whistling Dixie. Each group wears a different color ribbon. Want a bathroom break behind the rocks? Gotta take your friend and tell the adult in charge of your small group. No one permitted within 100 meters of the ocean, signpost up. No Dari permitted except for a short explanation.
Still, only game in town and we're happy to go. My group draws the mess sgt. Gulazar twists a smile, "bad news, no wandering from the food jeep. Good news, she plays favorite, brings a special treat for her group."
We have a wonderful time of it, all the fresh air and companionship. In fact, we opt to go as a group Friday too. By the end of two days together, a lot of new friendships have formed.
"Arezou, Farzana, over here." We take our trays, join our B12 friends. I can sense they have something important to say everyone looking sheepishly at everyone else.
Nilo takes the plunge, "we've signed a petition. All 40 girls in B12 and our Barrack Leader too. We want you two transferred over to us."
Neither reply as it sinks in.
Gulazar smiles, "see we're all friends anyhow. Nobody cares beans about that you-know-what-I-mean in the past. Good for both sides, you escape the prison barrack, we get better English by running into you over time."
Nilo jumps in, "so whaddya think?"
Arezou and I look at each other. By now, we have a sort of mindlink, know what the other will think a lotta the time.
I start, "sounds nice. But my understanding, you never get to leave B14."
Nilo looks at me, "that's ridiculous. Not fair to lock you up for life. Not your fault what happened, had to stay alive. They should try, get you people back to a normal social life. So, wanna sign?"
Arezou and I look at each other. She smiles gently, "Farzana, we have a duty to our friends. See if no one ever makes the first move, they just keep us separated forever. If we go and it works, then it helps everyone in B14."
I blush hotly, "sometimes I get so caught up in me and you, I forget about the rest."
Gulazar hugs me warmly, as does Nilo; both hug Arezou.
Nilo grins, "my guess, they'll hafta interview you, see if you're ok. So behave."
Drily I reply, "I promise not to bite her arm." Everyone roars with laughter.
A few days later, I'm brushing Arezou's hair when the office messenger comes, gives Arifa a card. Tomorrow, appointment for me.
It's the same Lt I saw on first arriving. I can't believe her office, heaps of paper all about.
She leans back in her chair, sucks on a pencil like a cigarette. "So, we'll let the past lie. Don't much care what your views are on Fern now. What's important is how things are now. So are you sleeping ok?"
"Mostly, ma'am."
"Nightmares?"
"Yes ma'am, but nowhere near as bad."
"Wanna talk about the nightmares or not?"
"No, ma'am."
"I see you're getting good marks. Like school?"
"Yes ma'am, teachers are kind."
"One question. How important is Arezou to you? Let's say I refuse to let her go, but let you? Would you go alone?"
"No ma'am, Arezou comes first, stay with her."
Smile, "exactly what we want, loyalty. Assuming Arezou is ok, you two can go."
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