Sarah 6

The Col is everything the Sgt ain't: clear-eyed, alert, trim, with an air that exudes no nonsense.
She raises an eyebrow, "I understand you disputed the work posting with the Sgt."
"Oh, Col, no I didn't."
"Why not? Everyone else in the IDF does?"
"Well you see Col, least it's something marketable. Always jobs available if you can run those machines."
"I see, so you actually accept it?"
"Yes Col."
"Well I don't. Quite frankly, the Haredi mafia would skin us alive if we made you a dishwasher. All those weekly columnists, always looking for some way to show grievance of the week. How the evil sinner seculars have once again insulted Haredi culture. To say nothing of the Knesset. UTJ (United Torah Judaism) Party would make serious noise, boycott any Knesset votes. And since they happen to be part of the ruling coalition, it could be a while before the budget gets through."
New to me of course.
"So my friend, we head them off at the pass. Only way out, we have to provide you with a posting which has a level of dignity about it. Let's start with you. Any ideas, where you'd like to be?"
"Library would be fabulous Col. I do have five years experience."
"Unfortunately it is no go. You have no computer knowledge, have done library work in Yiddish only. Our libraries are Hebrew and English. If you can't read English alphabet, you can't even put books back on shelves. What else?"
"Learning to be an auto mechanic would be great Col."
"Forget it. Engine grease all over the hands of a Haredi woman? They'd scream just as loud as if it were dishwashing. Any other ideas?"
"I'm afraid I've run out Col."
She takes out two sheets of paper. Neither has text, each has a graph on it. "Now examine these two, what do you notice?"
"Identical Col, except for this point here. Chart on the left, it's a half centimeter lower."
Proud smile, "good. Chart on the left is your exam results. Chart on the right is the standard profile for Air Assault."
"Pardon my ignorance of things military Col. What exactly is the difference between Air Cavalry and Air Assault?"
She actually gasps. Then, after a moment of examining my face, "ah I see, Haredi really are not into newspapers."
I nod vaguely.
"Air Cav is the peasants. Go back into history, Air Cav is the equivalent of the Armored Personnel Carrier. Only real difference, an APC was restricted by terrain, rocks, swamp, slope etc. Armored Hoverpods can go anywhere, more mobile. But same concept, just a taxi that hauls around infantry."
"Oh."
"Air Assault is a whole different ball of wax. Extensive training in behind the lines operations. Suppose we wanted routine patrols in the Negev Desert, that's Air Cav. Raiding something in Lebanon, Air Assault. Routine arrest of low level wanted militants, Air Cav. Going after Mr Big in Nablus, Air Assault. So, only one thing stands in your way. As you so observed on the chart, you come up short on written Hebrew skills. Nothing that a month of upgrading won't cure."
I wrestle with the morality of it. My exam is a fraud, people will die because I am inept.
"Ah Col, you would be wiser to place me elsewhere. My exam results are not what they appear?"
"How so?"
I blush hotly, "well you see Col, the questions were just too hard, too many of them. Truth is, I guessed on most of them."
Proud smile, "I knew that. We got cross checks built in, pick up that sort of thing. All part of the trick. See if you stop, think everything through, normal people get half or less of it done. Anyone who can guess so much, yet get such a high mark, proves to us, a person of good instinct good judgment. Can evaluate quickly, with inadequate information and proceed, usually with a wise course of action. Exactly what we need out on raids when something goes wrong with the main plan. In fact, your score is so high, you actually qualify as an officer in Air Assault. Only thing standing in your way is insufficient formal education. Hang around a few years, we can easily remedy that."
"You mean I won it honestly?"
"It's the highest honor you can get in the IDF. Every year, there are more people who go up Mount Everest than there are people who pass the exam. More people who circumnavigate the brutal Southern Ocean in a small boat than pass."
The waiting room is empty, it's past chow time. I get my tray, join the same exam crowd. Everyone has looks of wild curiosity. No one else saw the Col, and I was in there a long time.
Ruth, of kinky kibbutz story fame, breaks the ice, "so, whad you get?"
"Air Assault."
Gasps. Looks of absolute awe.
"When do you start the course for real? What upgrading they stick you with?"
"They say I need a month on written Hebrew."
"Consider yourself lucky kid. Me, got stuck on a month of math." She says the word math as if it were an obscenity and everyone laughs.
"We were talking before you got here. Tomorrow is cheque day, not a real cheque, just the small one. Wanna come drinking with us?"
I think fast. I'm not Haredi anymore, nor will I ever be again. It would be hugely rude, but "well, truth is, I haven't before. I'm a little uneasy."
Ruth smiles, "kid, it's gonna be a small cheque. No one is gonna get stinko enough to beat up MPs or dance naked on tables. Sit next to me, everything will be fine, I'll see you don't get into any trouble."
"All right then, let's do it."
"After all, you and me may as well be friends. We might be meeting again."
"How so?"
"I'm learning to drive pods. Most of the graduating class will get Air Cav; some will get Air Assault. Maybe I'll even drive you to Lebanon."
I raise my cup, in mock toast, "next year in Beirut." Of course, it's a takeoff on "next year in Jerusalem." As I see everyone laugh, see the expressions, I realize I've come a long way. Achieved some sort of belonging. Maybe this won't be so bad.

(So ends Part One. The blog may be inactive several months as Part Two is being prepared.)