Susan 6

Col Cohen gives a boyish grin, "please, help yourself to coffee. Now I can assure you, it will offend me not in the slightest if you take a styrofoam cup. Everyone in B Company does, tells me I'm careless, my cups are treyf."
I do.
"So how was your flight?"
"Very pleasant Col."
Easy laugh, "now there's a switch, 90% of US soldiers - male or female - come out ready to do homicide. Ah I see why, your size. Those seats would actually be roomy for you."
We both laugh.
"I understand you've been to the mess in Company B, given the tour of the kitchen. I trust it is sufficiently kosher for you."
"Oh yes, Col, I am most impressed by it."
"And your room in BOQ (Bachelor Officer Quarters), satisfactory?"
"Indeed Col."
"Good now forgive me if I ask, what's a nice Canadian girl, ultraOrthodox to boot, doing in a place like this?", but in a tone which robs it of any offence. "I mean, surely this is where angels fear to tread."
I shrug, "you may find considerable anti-Americanism among other Canadians; I don't share the sentiment. I'm here because duty calls."
Laugh, "lemme guess now, I can see it in your manner. Back on civvy street, you were - gasp - a bean counter, right?"
"As Chief of Finance and Admin at Birnbaum Publishing, it was my duty to try to keep us in the black. Bean counter seems such a harsh term."
"But, you've never bean counted in the Canadian Army?"
"No Col."
"A point in your favor. You see, that's not what is at issue here. Neither you nor I have any real interest in monetary figures. We've been given a non-negotiable budget and a fixed contingent size. So our job, you and I, is simply to get the most bang for our buck, right?"
"Yes Col."
"For starters, the one infantry company, with open jeeps and trucks. No way on earth we could authorize any form of front-line combat role; be tantamount to murder. They ah do have body armor?"
"No Col."
"The motorized platoon, detail the armament on each APC?"
"One 20 mm cannon; Col, one .30 calibre machine gun."
"Are you aware the cannon has been obsolete for a quarter century now? It'd be as effective as a can opener on that alloy the neoSoviets use on all vehicles?"
"I am aware Col."
"What is the official Canadian explanation for the .30 cal? As opposed to a .50?"
"The rationale Col, is any vehicle can only carry so much weight. The more rounds you can get out there, the better your odds of hitting something."
"And are you aware the .30 would bounce harmlessly off neoSoviet body armor; the .50 would not?"
"I am aware Col."
"Are there plans to replace the .30?"
"It's been looked at Col. The experts assert the mountings are so flimsy, it could not withstand the much greater recoil and vibration of a .50. The price to retrofit something that old, beyond paying."
"Which com devices do you use?"
"XB-15's Col."
Loud gasp, "they've been obsolete for forty years. No component parts made, meaning you cannibalize. Meaning you are short. Who all gets devices?"
"At present, Col, privates and corporals do not; M/Cpl and up do. But it's getting worse, they're mooting around only Sgt's and up."
"Are you aware every US soldier has one?"
"Oh yes Col."
"So you accept, as absolute fact, I could not even begin to consider a combat role for the motorized platoon?"
"Indeed Col, Gen Strasser expected that very result."
Pensive smile, "Lt, I'm going to ask a very sensitive question. Our original terms of reference are that the Canadian contingent is only allowed to accept certain small help from us: temporary lodging til they're settled in, several instructors and some members sent on US Army courses. Absolutely no donations of any hardware item. How exactly open would the Gen be to altering this, just a little?"
"My read, Col, she personally is gung ho. She's tried to establish overseas reach for years, but without success. She's isn't calling the shots here though. Any alteration, however small, will end up in the hands of the Defence Minister and then the full Cabinet."
Chuckle, "I can certainly see why. Deathly afraid of appearing to be poor cousin to the US. Want to establish they did this under their own steam. Ok, to offer any form of weaponry would by hugely provocative. But you really do need the com devices. But, here's my pitch. We aren't doing this to aid you, it's an advertising gimmick. As of the point the Capt's and Sgt's see how well this stuff works, they'll put pressure upwards to buy. So you see, it's all to promote American jobs."
"Good so far Col, but I need more, a compelling reason to force them to accept."
"There is one. Whether or not you have proper communications impacts on what role you could get. With it, we can get you something high class; without, you wouldn't like what you see."
"Very well Col, I'll give it my best shot. Don't expect a speedy answer, you know how politicians dither."
"No rush, lots of time for you to become familiar with us. And now, enough business. Tell me, so many ultraOrthodox women are into Yiddish literature, are you?"
"Oh yes Col."
"Good, I'm quite new at it, sure would appreciate suggestions."
It must be a matter of urgency, my answer comes in several days. The original rules stand, no donations. However, in the matter of com devices only, I am authorized to borrow them for the duration of the German tour of duty. I am not to interpret this as carte blanche and borrow anything else.
I show it to Col Cohen. He flashes a wicked smile, "can't beat a politician for pure sophistry."
We both laugh.
"However, that's all we need, we can now roll em. Before we start, I notice you are tolerant and open minded. Allowed even our total buffoons to talk your ears off. So, what do you make of the size of the US contingent in this sector?"
"To the untrained eye, Col, it appears too big. This of course leading to all manner of idleness and drunken hijinks. But that's too big for peace. If Ivan comes calling, this sector is short some 5,000 soldiers to meet all its commitments."
"Generous you are. Some say it's higher. Well no matter, now tell me, why are we short?"
"It is neither lack of money nor lack of willingness to spend it Col. But even if you pay, there are only so many who show up, without of course a draft."
"Very good. I think it highly unlikely Ivan would invade over such a small shortfall. However, if the shortfall grows over the years, it could happen. The shortfall actually plays in the favor of the Canadian contingent. Lotta jobs to be done - real stuff - not make believe. Lotta choice. I'll show you all of course. But first feast your eyes on the Cadillac. This is the absolute best Gen Strasser could achieve without front-line combat status."