Dark Chronicles of Nooria 20

Dari teacher continues, "so, neither Fereshta nor Nooria was wilfully defiant. Both tried, just missed the target by a long shot. The real problem, is that creativity is associated with emotional openess. You two are as closed off as it gets. But not to worry, we have an exercise to change all that. See an actor or actress can get lazy. Suppose he always plays the swashbuckling bad guy or she always plays the vamp. Becomes routine, don't think outside the role. Same as you two. Now glance through these scripts and you're on, showtime."
I blush ferociously. Two gay Taliban men, the ultimate taboo. Once we've looked, teacher continues, "Act One, sharing of love, not just sex. Act Two, the tragedy, the parting. Nooria, you will feel total betrayal. Fereshta, angry at your family for forcing the arranged marriage. To help you along, voila, black turbans. Don't just stand about, girls, hop to it. Fereshta, that chair. Nooria, on her knee. Show time, let's roll."
I catch the look of total jealousy on Shauzia. I'm in big trouble now. Still, can't afford to think about that now. Play the role, deal with the problem later.
Gasp, it calls for hugging, kissing, thank heavens no French-kissing.
End of Act One, treacher smiles, "ok, report card so far. Fereshta, didn't think you had one ounce of love in you. You fooled me, put on a good show. And you Nooria, with that wooden little face of yours, didn't think you had one ounce of any emotion in you. You did better than I expected, but nowhere near as well as Fereshta. Now Act Two, Nooria, every ounce of cheated betrayed disappointment you can muster. Fereshta, a homicidal rage toward your father."
After, teacher smiles sadly, "Fereshta, good job, looked one second away from killing your father. Nooria, I'm sorry to say, didn't do disappointment well. In fact, you looked relieved. Obviously you need more practice."
By now, I'm blushing more than I ever have. Shauzia has a look of "kill" in her eyes. Oh no, why do these things happen to me?
"You liked it! You loved every minute of it! You liked necking with her! You were disappointed there was no French-kissing! Slut! Whore! Pig! What sort of Friend are you?"
Somehow I sense the only way out. I hug her gently, wait for it to subside.
She wipes her tears, "ah, guess I overreacted a bit. It was just a play. Forgive me?"
"Only if you kiss me."
She does, including French. We walk back hand-in-hand. Shy tone, she says, "guess we ain't friends anymore, now Friends."
"Guess so."
"What do you mean, guess so?"
"I mean, yeah, we are."

As Shauzia and I sit, Nabila approaches, "congratulations."
"On what?" Shauzia asks.
"Come on, half the camp would have seen that heavy smooching, Friends, right?"
"Yeah."
"Well congratulations," Nabila turns to Shauzia with a serious look, "she's your property now. I don't wanna risk jealousy. So, ok if I talk with her about class?"
"Suit yourself."
"Now Nooria," Nabila starts earnestly, "just what do you think of the Dari teacher? I mean, after today."
"I ah prefer not to say."
"Goo-ood. So there is feeling there. Want revenge?"
"Nabila, my experience is revenge doesn't work. I do something, she does worse."
"Sensible one you are. Ok, how bout a chance to boost your Dari mark?"
"I'm all ears."
"She just pulled the oldest trick in the composition teacher book on you and Fereshta."
"How so?"
"A student just can't bring any emotion to her writing. Hard to generate something from nothing. But if you can give her pain, anger, hatred, anything, you've generated energy. She can then turn that into her next paper. So search your heart, find a story that resonates with anger."
It comes in a flash, "black US sgt, Viet Nam, mega-ticked at a white officer over racial insults. Tet 1968, lotta loose bullets flying, decides on one more. Next firefight, officer buys the farm. Slang term is to frag."
Nabila smiles proudly, "you just did the hardest part. Easy part is techical detail. So, go to the library, read up on M16s."
Shauzia hugs me warmly, "let's go together."
"Not so fast, didn't thank Nabila yet."

"Nooria, front and center. Now class, a pleasant surprise. Winning the prize for most improvement. Read it aloud, Nooria."
I do. Look, see all thumbs go up. By now, I'm on the edge of crying.
Teacher, "it resonates. You can smell the jungle, the cordite, the fear and especially the sgt's anger. You feel that hot sweaty burning desire for revenge. I would say Nooria has come a long way." Pause. "Next assignment, love story. Not gay, not lesbian, must be straight. Here are the guidelines..."
I groan inwardly, sounds like Mount Everest.
The girls are commiserating on that one. After all, not a lot of them have seen a good straight relationship.
Nabila saves the day, "girls, love is an emotion, can have any target. So you Nooria, for example, just think how you feel about Shauzia. Have the heroine take those same feelings, write a guy into the story. He need not be a macho pig you know. Could be a decent gentle guy."
I see comprehension all around.
Nabila continues, "and for you butches, even easier. Just think of your girlfriend, no switcheroo needed."
I protest, "that whole idea is ridiculous. Shauzia and I both used to be 'femme'. Now, just because she's bigger she's automatically 'butch'. Crazy rules, now ..."
Shauzia grins, "oh shut up Nooria. Just means I can write from both sides of the fence. So, anyone need help, just ask the expert, me!"
Boos, hisses, catcalls, groans, statements of feeling sorry for Nooria having to put up with someone so stuck up. All joke. Shauzia isn't stuck up.

As she passes out papers, Dari teacher quietly tells me, "just didn't think you had it in you. Did great. I mean, great compared to how you do. The rest did do lots better."
Left-handed compliment - I'll still take it - better than she used to say.
Amina grins, "I don't believe it. Actually managed a C on a love story. Cheating you were, got Shauzia to provide half the feelings."
"Mum, that's called sharing."
"I know, just teasing you. So it really worked, blew out the cobwebs when you wrote on that fragging in Nam."

Parvana raises her fist, "let's follow the White Rabbit. With any luck, we'll find Wonderland."
Zala laughs, "we done found it. Here."
Laughter.
Amina grins, "and with you clowns, everyday is like the Mad Hatter's Tea Party."
Wolf howls, cheers as we climb aboard.
Sitting across from me, Nilofar quietly asks, "so, how's things with Shauzia?"
"When she was my jailer, hung close. Now, more so. Lotsa time, feel like I can't breathe. Anytime I say anything, she gets bigtime sniffy. What am I doing wrong?"
"Nothing, just how it is. Anytime 2 women or 2 girls, lotsa jealousy. Just gotta live with it."
"So what's the choice? Totally alone, hermit, dying of loneliness? Or suffocation? Why is there no happy medium?"
"Why does the sun rise? Why are there tides? Just is."
"So this is my whole life? I mean, when I grow up."
"For a while. Until she stabs you," then I see the wink. "So, enjoy it while you can. Just garden variety jealousy now. After you join up, variables are dope, sex, cheating and knives. Like soldiers on maneuver. So wanna make any mistakes, make em now, not after you're 17."
Where have I heard that line? Same line I gave Tasmina about OC meetings.

There's a thin smile on the Lt's face, "now class, I have heard a lot of complaints about these leadership exercises. People say the envelopes are phony-baloney, no real way of attaching meaning. So, we have something a little different. Look at our stats on average, of every dozen girls who are OC, 11 go on to join us as Lt. Pretty successful rate. Look around, lot of these faces, you'll see for the next 30 years, maybe more. So, everyone go to the mess now, fetch a mug of tea. Come back quickly, no dillydallying."
We do.
"Ok, now you start to understand the life of an officer. Social time."
I see dumbfounded looks.