Green Lake 3

After I drink the water, nurse asks, "now, feel more like talking?"
"Nope."
"Well then, try listening for a change, new experience for you."
What a rude pig!
"Look, I could sit here and name just about every illness you care to discuss, predict what things will happen after. NDE, Near Death Experience, as in clinically dead, is the wild card. Anything can and does happen. You could rush forth, kiss every whale, hug every tree or you could become a closet serial killer. See we come face-to-face with a lot of stuff we really don't want to see. So, when you check out, your friend Meena has agreed to watch out for you. You room with her, until she and I are satisfied you're ok."
I don't like the cut of her jib. Nother of them bossy women, like teachers. I see only a single silver bar (Lieutenant?) and recall I'm a Captain or sort of.
"Is that an order?"
With that she hugs me, starts to cry a little. You've just proven you're a da** sight closer to being you again. Most obnoxious pain-in-the-ass on the whole base. Only reason Meena can put up with you, she's hated too, our infamous MP (Military Police) Captain. And yes, it's an order, if you choose to push the issue. Come morning, you haven't let me talk sensible with you, doctor in charge is a Major and will clue you in."
I know when to back down, "right, tell me more about this Meena. She a serial killer? A tree hugger? Both?"
Nurse bursts into laughter, "if you lightened up just one iota in that Finance and Admin area, people might actually like you. Nice sense of humor."
Meena arrives as I start breakfast, "well now, word is God refused you, so did the devil. Stuck here in the Land of the Undead, with us."
"Nurse tells me I'm quote the most obnoxious pain-in-the-ass on the whole base. Second only to you of course. Care to give me pointers?"
She laughs, hugs me, "I'll visit you regular. Nother day or two, they let you out. But you seem ok, back to yourself. What was it really like?"
"Strangest dream. I was a little boy in Canada. Backwoods poor farm. Doing lousy in school. Dream seems a lot more real than here."
She leans closer, "I hear you. Now keep that mouth shut. Very Freudian you see. Nurse hears you talking so, it'll be way too many sessions with the Counsellor. But you can talk with me."
"Thanks Meena, you're a pal."
"You should know Jamila, all those Finance and Admin people, had a pool, when do you die. Ain't gonna be happy to see you back."
"Good, matched set, I ain't happy either. Should I keelhaul someone?"
"Don't be absurd, that's Navy. We're Air Force."
"Oh."

I lie back down, feeling wiped. What awful luck! Why not someplace else? Why not just dead?
But then, I recall Uncle Terry talk of his Drill Instructor experience, "you start out a real total jerk. Loosen up bit by bit. Soon they like you, decide the Army is ok after all. But wouldn't like your odds if you started out normal."
I think back to school. A D- scholar can rise to D faster and easier than a straight A student to A+. Yeah, bring it on. After this toad Jamila, I might seem like a nice person.

Counsellor pulls up a chair, "right, no time to waste on BS. You were clinically dead 23 minutes. Doesn't sound like much, but it's all of eternity. Sort of like trying to ride a bull in a rodeo for 23 minutes. So, what happened during it?"
"Don't remember a thing."
"Ye-ah, odds are 9/10 you're a bare-faced liar; 1/10 it's so shocking you can't put it in words."
My blush gives it away.
"I see. Well get used to me. I keep an eye on you til you're ok again."
"From what I hear, I wasn't ok to start with."
Grin, "I stand corrected. Until you're back to being you. You were someone else during it."
I ponder a moment, realize I'm trapped. Far better a little boy than say Stalin.
"Yeah, Canada, winter time, 10 year old boy, poor backwoods farm, doing lousy in school."
She looks in my eyes a long moment, "you're telling the truth."
I nod.
"About as harmless as it gets. Just means you're tired of being you. Now if that boy were a few years older, whole different ball-of-wax, lotta unresolved problems."
I nod.
"Look at the bring side, chance to start over. Be just a little more friendly and people will be quick to accept you."
I nod.
"You're confined to your friend's custody for 30 days."
"Why?"
"Easy to sound sensible by the cold light of day. When it's 3:00 am and the strange mood strikes, anything could happen."
"As in?"
"Yeah, delayed reaction. See people face a whole lifetime wortha nonsense in a short time. Almost all don't like what they see. Often just decide to end it. Thirty days minimum, then we see."
I nod, relieved. Coulda been worse, a whole lot worse.