Nuremberg Tour 24

As Sarge and I walk in companionable silence, I find myself wondering how many lives she has saved. She's a complicated but decent person. I find myself glad I'm with her and with Farzana. Things look good, not as good as before Ariel's death; but the best since then.
But, I protest to myself, this career soldier thing is not inevitable. I have two options. Visit Savitri back in Rose Hall, Guyana, set up a used book store; or take up the IDF on their radar offer.
But each escape comes with a price. Guyana, though it has some advantages, is poor. So would I be, with a low volume business like that. Israel, the price is violence to the edge of insanity and perhaps beyond.
Just a minute. So I can choose poverty; insanity through boredom (here); or insanity through violence. What sort of life is that?
I find myself actually pondering suicide. I discard various ideas as too painful or too messy.
"You ok?" Sarge asks.
Way too quick, I reply, "oh yes."
She wraps an arm around me, "see, it's starting already."
Does she have ESP? Scary or what? I don't reply.
"Get to work on that novel. Focus on something useful and it helps drive away the demon."
It hits me, "you're speaking from experience?"
"How in hell do you think I make so much money writing porn? Just never stop, I mean, except to try out new kink."
We both laugh. Somehow I feel better, finding a kindred soul.
Cheerfully I remark, "that crowd sounds like they're dying."
Wicked smile, "good, they're starting to hate me, some of them. Once they gather that energy together in one place, just maybe I can convince them to do something with it."
She raises her voice, "let's get those asses in gear. We don't wanna spend all day covering four miles."
The level of muttering goes up. Is this what awaits me, being a Sgt? Oy!
She turns back to me, "ulterior motive in that. Ever hear of endorphins?"
"No."
"The feel good drug in your system. A brisk walk brings it out; S&M brings it out more."
"I would guess, some of them hafta lose forty pounds before much of that happens."
"Oh sure, but Rome wasn't built in a day."
"So lemme guess Sarge, you're trying to get the daily walk into part of their routine. So, along the Czech border, they don't just sit. Go to the store daily for that beer or candy or such."
"Wow, you catch on quick, be Sgt in no time."
"Tell me, what you gonna do when you retire?"
Blush, "you have found the gaping hole in my theory of life."
I order an eight inch pizza for lunch. Farzana looks at it, "enjoy it while you can."
"Meaning?"
"You still got the metabolism of forty hours a week active. Do endless guard duty along the border and you'll come home like a whale, if you eat like that."
"Point taken, next time a half pizza."
"So you and Sarge are becoming good friends?"
"Oh yes."
"You be careful."
"How so?"
"All that tedious Cheerful Charlene routine, get you believing the army is worth the powder to blow it to hell. Don't wanna end up a career soldier."
And now, I'm confused, don't reply.
"I mean look around. Would any sane person choose this?"
"Of course not."
"Good, just do the tour, then get lost."
And now it registers. She talks so because she doesn't have a clue about Jewish culture. I just nod and smile. Some things can't be explained; you either know or don't.
At the range Sarge is using me as an example. "Now Anne and Sarah already knew. Rachel had never picked up a rifle before, yet she does ok. Why? Because she just obeys orders, doesn't clown around. Watch her positioning and breathing, copy it."
Various rude remarks.
Wicked smile, "did I ever tell you what happens if you don't qualify? Redo basic. Can you imagine anything more boring than that?"
Various comments that they'll try harder.
"You see, just in case Ivan is suffering from temporary insanity, induced by too much vodka, you hafta be ready."
Once people start trying, scores go up.