Dark Chronicles of Nooria 22
Two girls behind me are arguing.
"Did too."
"Did not."
"Did too."
"Did not."
The Dari teacher enters, "did everyone enjoy their week off?"
They manage to get in another round.
"Did too."
"Did not."
"Sorry to hear one of you didn't, everyone else did. Down to business. Nooria, Fereshta front and center. Two scripts, one is captain of an alien ship reporting back to his CO, other a Kandahar teahouse gay. Fairest way, flip a coin, call it in the air Fereshta."
"Heads."
"You win, Fereshta, which do you pick?"
"Ship's captain, ma'am." (figures.)
"Quit slouching, stand up straight, you are a naval captain."
Fereshta is relaying the outrageous findings to her CO, offstage. She has to stop often, as the laughter is deafening. Conclusion, no intelligent life evident, yet anyhow, not worthy of contact, check back in 5,000 years or so.
As the turban is tied on me, I realize why I flopped playing the gay cavalier opposite Fereshta. Fear of the jealousy in Shauzia, held me back.
This time I don't. Pour my energy into the part. It's bittersweet and the the girls alternately laugh and some cry as the character debates whether to kill himself. Conclusion, of course he decides not to, don't wanna give the girls bad ideas.
As we file out, the 2 grapplers continue.
"Did too."
"Did not."
"Did too."
"Did not."
Shauzia has a bitten attitude, sniffy, "soon as I saw the turban go on you, saw a huge change in you. That's why you and me, we have so many problems. Really, you wanna be a guy. Admit it!"
"Ok, I admit it. So what? Who with any sense wouldn't? Don't they get all the fun? Don't women always hafta clean their mess?"
"Cool it! Chill! Don't yell at me! Just saying the obvious. Now you gotta choice. You smarten up, right here and now, or you and me are through."
"Yes oh mighty lord and master! You do that! You throw me out! Then maybe you get some nice slavegirl who'll kiss your feet morning noon and night! Then you'll be happy! So, do it! Double dog dare you!!"
At this, she grabs me, starts vigorous French-kissing. After, "you really are beautiful when you're angry. So much fun making up."
Obviously there's lotta bored people here, too much free time, gotta invent trouble.
"Did too" and "did not" are watching. "Did too" grabs "did not" and starts kissing. What a soap opera. To top it off, later "did not" thanks me for being a good example.
We're invited to a Bollywood movie, equipment set up in the members mess. It takes 8 showings to cover all 2,000 girls. Attack on my senses, so much color, sound, music, dance, flashy clothes, nice cars, etc. My eye is accustomed to drab, as in drab uniforms, barracks, classrooms and landscape. I don't sleep that night, feeling assaulted, yet it was fun.
Once the rotation is over, they decide on a monthly movie for everyone, it worked smoothly. Doesn't sound like much to you westerners, but for us, it's wonderful.
Arifa gasps, "girls, newsletter story for you." Everyone gathers around. "We now have parking regulations, spaces for 180 scooters, I'll read the whole story."
After, a cacophony of conversation, everyone stunned.
Thursday morning, MP sgt grins, "how bout that Nooria. Should I tell the rest or you?"
"Sarge you better, they'd never believe me."
They too are stunned. Debate is lively, hilarious. Just before Amina and I leave for patrol, MP sgt raises her mug, "a toast. Single-handed slaying of the the dragon. Only weapon, sense of humor. To Nooria."
Amina grins as we walk away, "such a sly little devil you are. Imagine, you can keep secrets, makes you a rarity round here."
For the next 3 days, that's all anyone talks of. Then it's old hat.
Lt smiles smugly, "not so very long ago, you people were calling this a ridiculous debating society. Well, you've scored 2 direct hits. Every girl in camp can thank you for the movies. And parking regs started here."
Tasmina, "still don't see any scooters to do the parking."
"Soon will. Won't charge freight, just bring em on the ship. Also, overseas posting, which means duty-free. Get em here cheaper, take em back with you. Members I mean."
Tasmina asks, "isn't it too much hassle, ma'am? Bring gas and spare tires and such."
Lt grins, "people only have so much money. So spend it on the scooter, less for dope. CO hopes to turn it into a colony of bikers."
"Don't bikers smoke lotsa dope?"
Lt laughs, "you do your best, to get my goat. Do the math, dope or scooter, can't afford both."
"But then how on earth would dopers have money saved up, ma'am?"
Lt twists a smile, "ah, think we've found the hole in the CO's theory. Sober people, money in the bank, they'll buy. Dopers can't save and don't want to. Oh well, probably sell two dozen, it's a start."
I ask, "ma'am, couldn't AAW loan them the money?"
"Frosty Friday, they don't have, how could they loan to anyone else?"
I persist, "ma'am, why not raffle? Every few months, raffle off a scooter. Any surplus, donate to Malalia Hospital."
Lt smiles, "good idea Nooria. Be a profit for a good cause, get a few drivers on the road."
Tasmina deep-sixes the idea, "not on your life, think stoned driving accidents. Winners of the draw are gonna wind up dead. Dangerous trails, want anyone stoned playing on em?"
A girl asks, "ma'am why now? Why the bike thing now? Camp has been here for years."
"CO is trying to turn this from a hardship posting to a pleasant one. You see, with isolation from various problems, this school way out-performs any other AAW ones. Paradox, the girls are so well-behaved; the members so bad. Trying to change that."
Another girl asks, "ma'am how did all this dope get going? Few years ago, women didn't do that."
Lt smiles, "equality. You get it, you make the same mistakes as the men."
Long cheerful line into the members mess, comedy movie, the original Pink Panther. I've seen it before on TV. Fabulous, hilarious chase action. They don't make movies that good anymore.
Laughter is deafening. Slapstick, unlike some other genres, travels well across linguistic and cultural barriers. Also, good English practice.
Feedback is so positive, they decide to bring more old comedies. Lotsa those old movies floating around. Besides, a lot of these people need to lighten up a bit.
"Did too."
"Did not."
"Did too."
"Did not."
The Dari teacher enters, "did everyone enjoy their week off?"
They manage to get in another round.
"Did too."
"Did not."
"Sorry to hear one of you didn't, everyone else did. Down to business. Nooria, Fereshta front and center. Two scripts, one is captain of an alien ship reporting back to his CO, other a Kandahar teahouse gay. Fairest way, flip a coin, call it in the air Fereshta."
"Heads."
"You win, Fereshta, which do you pick?"
"Ship's captain, ma'am." (figures.)
"Quit slouching, stand up straight, you are a naval captain."
Fereshta is relaying the outrageous findings to her CO, offstage. She has to stop often, as the laughter is deafening. Conclusion, no intelligent life evident, yet anyhow, not worthy of contact, check back in 5,000 years or so.
As the turban is tied on me, I realize why I flopped playing the gay cavalier opposite Fereshta. Fear of the jealousy in Shauzia, held me back.
This time I don't. Pour my energy into the part. It's bittersweet and the the girls alternately laugh and some cry as the character debates whether to kill himself. Conclusion, of course he decides not to, don't wanna give the girls bad ideas.
As we file out, the 2 grapplers continue.
"Did too."
"Did not."
"Did too."
"Did not."
Shauzia has a bitten attitude, sniffy, "soon as I saw the turban go on you, saw a huge change in you. That's why you and me, we have so many problems. Really, you wanna be a guy. Admit it!"
"Ok, I admit it. So what? Who with any sense wouldn't? Don't they get all the fun? Don't women always hafta clean their mess?"
"Cool it! Chill! Don't yell at me! Just saying the obvious. Now you gotta choice. You smarten up, right here and now, or you and me are through."
"Yes oh mighty lord and master! You do that! You throw me out! Then maybe you get some nice slavegirl who'll kiss your feet morning noon and night! Then you'll be happy! So, do it! Double dog dare you!!"
At this, she grabs me, starts vigorous French-kissing. After, "you really are beautiful when you're angry. So much fun making up."
Obviously there's lotta bored people here, too much free time, gotta invent trouble.
"Did too" and "did not" are watching. "Did too" grabs "did not" and starts kissing. What a soap opera. To top it off, later "did not" thanks me for being a good example.
We're invited to a Bollywood movie, equipment set up in the members mess. It takes 8 showings to cover all 2,000 girls. Attack on my senses, so much color, sound, music, dance, flashy clothes, nice cars, etc. My eye is accustomed to drab, as in drab uniforms, barracks, classrooms and landscape. I don't sleep that night, feeling assaulted, yet it was fun.
Once the rotation is over, they decide on a monthly movie for everyone, it worked smoothly. Doesn't sound like much to you westerners, but for us, it's wonderful.
Arifa gasps, "girls, newsletter story for you." Everyone gathers around. "We now have parking regulations, spaces for 180 scooters, I'll read the whole story."
After, a cacophony of conversation, everyone stunned.
Thursday morning, MP sgt grins, "how bout that Nooria. Should I tell the rest or you?"
"Sarge you better, they'd never believe me."
They too are stunned. Debate is lively, hilarious. Just before Amina and I leave for patrol, MP sgt raises her mug, "a toast. Single-handed slaying of the the dragon. Only weapon, sense of humor. To Nooria."
Amina grins as we walk away, "such a sly little devil you are. Imagine, you can keep secrets, makes you a rarity round here."
For the next 3 days, that's all anyone talks of. Then it's old hat.
Lt smiles smugly, "not so very long ago, you people were calling this a ridiculous debating society. Well, you've scored 2 direct hits. Every girl in camp can thank you for the movies. And parking regs started here."
Tasmina, "still don't see any scooters to do the parking."
"Soon will. Won't charge freight, just bring em on the ship. Also, overseas posting, which means duty-free. Get em here cheaper, take em back with you. Members I mean."
Tasmina asks, "isn't it too much hassle, ma'am? Bring gas and spare tires and such."
Lt grins, "people only have so much money. So spend it on the scooter, less for dope. CO hopes to turn it into a colony of bikers."
"Don't bikers smoke lotsa dope?"
Lt laughs, "you do your best, to get my goat. Do the math, dope or scooter, can't afford both."
"But then how on earth would dopers have money saved up, ma'am?"
Lt twists a smile, "ah, think we've found the hole in the CO's theory. Sober people, money in the bank, they'll buy. Dopers can't save and don't want to. Oh well, probably sell two dozen, it's a start."
I ask, "ma'am, couldn't AAW loan them the money?"
"Frosty Friday, they don't have, how could they loan to anyone else?"
I persist, "ma'am, why not raffle? Every few months, raffle off a scooter. Any surplus, donate to Malalia Hospital."
Lt smiles, "good idea Nooria. Be a profit for a good cause, get a few drivers on the road."
Tasmina deep-sixes the idea, "not on your life, think stoned driving accidents. Winners of the draw are gonna wind up dead. Dangerous trails, want anyone stoned playing on em?"
A girl asks, "ma'am why now? Why the bike thing now? Camp has been here for years."
"CO is trying to turn this from a hardship posting to a pleasant one. You see, with isolation from various problems, this school way out-performs any other AAW ones. Paradox, the girls are so well-behaved; the members so bad. Trying to change that."
Another girl asks, "ma'am how did all this dope get going? Few years ago, women didn't do that."
Lt smiles, "equality. You get it, you make the same mistakes as the men."
Long cheerful line into the members mess, comedy movie, the original Pink Panther. I've seen it before on TV. Fabulous, hilarious chase action. They don't make movies that good anymore.
Laughter is deafening. Slapstick, unlike some other genres, travels well across linguistic and cultural barriers. Also, good English practice.
Feedback is so positive, they decide to bring more old comedies. Lotsa those old movies floating around. Besides, a lot of these people need to lighten up a bit.
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