Naomi 7
Eagerly I tear open the envelope from the reforestation service, wondering why is it addressed to Lt Wolner? I am informed in no uncertain terms that I am ineligible, since my promotion. Now who on earth would have done something that stupid?
The phone rings, Lt Nachman, "so Naomi, how are things going?"
"Usual, Esther, one student outa three stays awake in class. Rest are only there because first year Lit is compulsory. Still, can't complain, most are polite enough not to snore."
She laughs, "so, heard the news about His Nibs?"
"I'm the last to hear anything."
"He's been hiding a serious med condition from them for years, that anxious to keep that summer getaway. Doctors caught up to him, turfed him from the Reserves."
"Poor old guy!"
"Which makes me Capt and you Lt. So, think we should push for West Bank or Gaza, like Meyer wanted?"
"I'd suggest not, Captain, already too many people dodge the tour. Wanna go with just you and me?"
Wicked laugh, "don't get me wrong, I wasn't considering it, just wanted your honest opinion."
"So how's staffing, Esther?"
"Lousy, in extremis. Goldstein, gone, med. Meyer, dead. You, promoted. Karen, exempt. We now have no experienced Sgt's left. Meaning G-d help us if we get a nasty assignment."
"So what brainwave made me Lt?"
Easy laugh, "that'd be me, Naomi. Look at it from my side, who else could I trust?"
I groan aloud.
She continues, "and while we're on the topic of bad news, we hafta take 20 Haredi women."
I groan louder, "do you have any idea how nuts that'll drive the cooks?"
"I hear you. It comes from on high, where the insanity never ceases. So, read Hamodia and Bakehila from time to time."
"Jawohl Kapitan."
She laughs.
Curious, I walk to the newsstand. The vendor, who knows me vaguely, raises an eyebrow at my purchase of Hamodia and Bakehila.
"For a foreigner," I mutter, "Americans are that curious about everything. Staying with my brother."
He looks relieved, wondering if there had been something wrong with me.
After an hour of reading, I'm pondering joining the French Foreign Legion, or at very least entering the green card lottery. Haredim are so nuts it defies belief.
After tea, I pick up Hamodia again. A well-know rabbi asserts he has secret info, conveyed to him by a not-to-be-named party.
The IDF will be shaking the trees in Development G, trying to find 20 women. He urges all citizens to resist, by refusing to fill out any forms.
Well now, maybe things won't be so bad after all. With any luck, none of them will show.
The phone rings, Lt Nachman, "so Naomi, how are things going?"
"Usual, Esther, one student outa three stays awake in class. Rest are only there because first year Lit is compulsory. Still, can't complain, most are polite enough not to snore."
She laughs, "so, heard the news about His Nibs?"
"I'm the last to hear anything."
"He's been hiding a serious med condition from them for years, that anxious to keep that summer getaway. Doctors caught up to him, turfed him from the Reserves."
"Poor old guy!"
"Which makes me Capt and you Lt. So, think we should push for West Bank or Gaza, like Meyer wanted?"
"I'd suggest not, Captain, already too many people dodge the tour. Wanna go with just you and me?"
Wicked laugh, "don't get me wrong, I wasn't considering it, just wanted your honest opinion."
"So how's staffing, Esther?"
"Lousy, in extremis. Goldstein, gone, med. Meyer, dead. You, promoted. Karen, exempt. We now have no experienced Sgt's left. Meaning G-d help us if we get a nasty assignment."
"So what brainwave made me Lt?"
Easy laugh, "that'd be me, Naomi. Look at it from my side, who else could I trust?"
I groan aloud.
She continues, "and while we're on the topic of bad news, we hafta take 20 Haredi women."
I groan louder, "do you have any idea how nuts that'll drive the cooks?"
"I hear you. It comes from on high, where the insanity never ceases. So, read Hamodia and Bakehila from time to time."
"Jawohl Kapitan."
She laughs.
Curious, I walk to the newsstand. The vendor, who knows me vaguely, raises an eyebrow at my purchase of Hamodia and Bakehila.
"For a foreigner," I mutter, "Americans are that curious about everything. Staying with my brother."
He looks relieved, wondering if there had been something wrong with me.
After an hour of reading, I'm pondering joining the French Foreign Legion, or at very least entering the green card lottery. Haredim are so nuts it defies belief.
After tea, I pick up Hamodia again. A well-know rabbi asserts he has secret info, conveyed to him by a not-to-be-named party.
The IDF will be shaking the trees in Development G, trying to find 20 women. He urges all citizens to resist, by refusing to fill out any forms.
Well now, maybe things won't be so bad after all. With any luck, none of them will show.
posted by afghangirlscifi @ 10:20 AM
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