Susan 10

One Thursday, I return from work to find a post card, the Post Office is holding a parcel for me. I'm more than a little curious. After all, who is there to send anything?
Next day I see it's from Gen Strasser's office, a letter and book.
"Seeing as how you're a civilian now, I can't give you orders. Still, please accept advice as a friend.
"Reading the enclosed book, you'll realize you have the legal right to sue for defamation of character; as do I.
"Not a wise plan. First, they'd love the publicity. An average title sells 100, usually only to the faithful. Second, upon winning your damages against Marxist-Leninist-Trotskyite Publishing House, it could be difficult to collect. As in, their only asset is a fifty year old printing press, scrap metal value only.
"Happy reading, 'conspirator'."
Titled, "The Conspiracy Which Dragged Canada into Overseas Deployment", it has certain factual errors.
The co-conspirators, that is Ari and myself, are on the wrong base in Germany. So wrong, it's actually a British base. His first name, middle name and hometown in the US are wrong. My middle name, age, education and pre-military occupation are wrong. As is showing me as a Regular, when I was a Reservist.
To read all this hoohaw, Gen Strasser and the whole Cabinet were simply putty in my hands. I dreamed up the whole thing, from scratch. Since I needed an American ally to pull it off, Ari is the logical choice, being distant relative of one of my friends.
I was of course well rewarded, Uncle Sam depositing a million and a half dollars in a Swiss bank, name of bank given, address on Bahnhofstrasse in Zurich given.
Hmm, wonder what would happen if I simply showed up there? Waved this book around as evidence, demanded to see my account? I sigh, likely men in white suits would haul me away for a short rest in a peaceful quiet institution.
Just as the conspiracy was nearing fruition, an emergency arose. Mrs Cohen returned early to discover Ari and myself, naked in bed. Whereupon she went to the kitchen, got two knives.
Screaming curses in who knows how many languages she pursued me around the base, still naked of course.
These worthies claim to have eyewitness statements from US soldiers.
Anyhow, this state of affairs, the pursuit, lasted a long time. Reason, American MP's were so totally overcome with such a wild hilarity, they were unable to mobilize. Eventually, an MP Sgt arrived upon the scene, got their butts in gear.
This incident was hushed up, since it happened at a critical juncture of the conspiracy, the night before the Canadian Defence Minister gave the press conference.
Immediately after, I was replaced by another officer and thrown out of the Army.
Charges against me were considered, never laid as US and German authorities stonewalled on the investigation.
And now, I'm merely biding my time, laying low, til I'm sure the scandal is over.
At which point, I'll go off on a trip, happily reunite with my money.
I ponder all this. If these people had even one ounce of credibility, my life wouldn't be so peaceful now. As in, endless phone calls from reporters and being accosted outside my office building.
As time passes, I slowly realize, this is the closure I needed. I had a darn good laugh and can now just go back to being me. And me is looking a little better now. In the spring, we'll be bringing out a few scifi titles; a welcome change from bean counting.