Minda 2

I stop for a break while pumping iron. Pronovost, of Montreal Biker War fame, stops, sits next to me, "so, how's things between you and the Horrible Hebe?"
I sigh, "Lord alone knows, she has gotta be more nuts than mosta her clientele."
Wicked laugh, "that's the only kind goes into the psy field, mon ami. Be careful, over the years she has made lots people vanish into thin air, but lifers only."
"You reckon they drive off to a secluded forest, shoot you?"
"Not likely, no capital punishment in Canada. Meaning it'd take one slip up only and that whole Admin would face Murder One raps. Given they can't organize a handjob in a whorehouse, I find it hard to believe they could be that professional."
"Maybe a secret prison on Ellesmere Island, modelled on Siberia?"
"Again, unlikely. Troublemakers nev-ver vanish, only sucks."
"So, gimme your best guess."
"Injection, turns you into a zombie. Then off to a minimum security joint in the back of beyond."
I ponder a moment, "aren't we all becoming zombies here, in max? Would it matter if the process were fast or slow? Fast might even be more merciful."
His look is total surprise, never had that thought. He stares off into space a long minute, then, far away voice, "yep, reckon you're right." Chuckle, "still as a matter of principle, I'd die before I be polite to any of that crowd."
We both laugh, return to our workouts.
My secretary Bernie, sets his food tray down on the table, "so Boss, how's your day?"
"Same as any."
"That pi**ant publisher in PEI (Prince Edward Island) sent an email to your fan address, must have lost the private one. I forwarded it on to you."
"What did he say?"
Leans forward earnestly, "talk about cheek Boss, he wants you to donate all the royalties to some kid charity in PEI and revise three chapters."
I sigh, "Bernie, you're only in here for insider trading, just don't understand the lifer mindset. Money means zip to me. My only concern, it must be a legitimate registered charity. So, could you zip off an email to Revenue, see if it's on the registered list?"
"Sure Boss, no problem."
"Long as the charity is legit, I'm willing to negotiate, but my limit is one chapter. I'm just not in that mindset anymore, the gritty crime novel. I'm now off in outer space, my sci fi novel. It would take huge gear shifting to do 3, but one wouldn't be too hard."
"You know Boss, I realized I have a huge problem next year."
"Bernie, you get out next year, how could that possibly be a problem?"
"Well you see Boss, only reason I agreed to be your secretary for free, you get lots of email, 500 fan letters a day. And of course, since I pretend to be you, I get to write hot messages to hundreds of women all over. But once I'm out, well then I'm just back to being me." Sighs, "and me is so boring."
"Cheer up Bernie, I'll happily let you keep any of the fans you like. Continue to exchange emails with your favorites. Someone else can start on the routine list again."
"Wow, thanks a lot."