Malka 2
On the metro ride home, I end up sitting near to Karen's boyfriend #3. Absolutely no question, he looks at me with a palpable dislike. His expression conveys I am akin to something he'll hafta scrape off his shoe after a moment's carelessness.
Oh come on now, would such a man actually choose to pick up Karen in the first place? He certainly is good looking, must have at least some choice.
Gradually an explanation occurs to me. See I look Jewish, triggering his knee jerk reaction of hate stare.
I'll bet he hasn't figured out Karen is Jewish yet. Should be a lively conversation when that happens.
I've just put on my pyjamas when Karen calls. Seems she and #3 had a long heart to heart chat. I brace myself, surely this is it, the big discovery.
But oh no, their chat was on S&M (Sadism and Masochism).
I groan inwardly. Surely S&M fans are nuts; to do so with a Nazi would be more nuts yet.
Hoping a tremor doesn't appear in my voice, I ask over-casually, "so ah who does the S and who the M?"
"We're taking turns. See I've been looking for a guy for S&M forever. And he admits he likes life's extreme experiences."
I'll bet he does.
After we hang up, I stare out the window, lost in thought. Soon however my thoughts rally. Combining one coffee house conversation on the theory of S&M with a limited knowledge of fitness, I realize endorphins are involved.
The body's natural feel good drug. How you feel so good after a brisk walk in the fresh air. Runner's high. S&M is the same drug.
And since both will be feeling it, I'm guessing they're hooked on each other in no time. That is, if you assume they don't make the big discovery quickly.
Chortling with wicked glee at the sheer perversity of Fate, I turn out the light and go to bed.
With Karen I have a reliable but not infallible barometer.
See the only way I hear from her is if things are going badly, she's changing a direction or the odd occasion she feels guilty for ignoring me. I'm not allowed to call her as she has a busier life.
And so, if I hear absolutely nothing from her, that usually implies things are going quite well.
Down at the bathhouse, a huge punchup erupts, spilling out into the yard. Journalists being what they are, and it being a slow news day, there were a lot of photos.
And it turns out boyfriend #2 appears in almost a dozen of these.
The police decline to lay charges, as it was clearly a fight by consent and entirely on private property. The bathhouse suspends the lads for two weeks each and that's it.
But still, I really should have heard from Karen. Surely this would trigger at least some angst in her.
Boyfriend #1 calls me, asks to meet in a coffee house. Given he's such a harmless chap and it is a public place, I readily agree.
Grim look, he hands me an envelope, "can you keep this a week, then mail it? She's put my phone on ignore. I don't want her to read this til after I leave town."
"So why me?"
Blush, "my so called friends are all a bunch of practical jokers, wouldn't trust them, but I've met you know you're ok."
"Thanks."
"I just don't understand. Wasn't I a nice guy? We had such nice conversations. But I'm guessing she found someone else." Then he chuckles.
"What's funny?"
"Well maybe it's Fate. Just got an offer from the Army. If I join, guaranteed I get the electronics technician course."
"Cool, that's the Cadillac. So, to paraphrase, even if she did dump you, at least her timing was good."
We both laugh.
I mail it the exact day he requests. And still hear nothing back from Karen. Oh I realize she wouldn't know I mailed it.
But still, if departure of #1 caused any angst, for sure she'd ring.
Naomi thinks it's a huge hoot, how #2 was "outed" in the paper, asks how Karen took it.
I reply I never heard back.
She whistles softly, "ah ha, means only one thing, just totally tied up with some other dude."
The pun "tied up" tempts me to laugh, but I stop myself. I really don't feel like explaining how that's humorous.
Then finally, I spot Karen and #3 at a distance in a metro station. We-ell, at least that's proof one didn't kill the other. And they do seem rather an item.
But still, I find myself wondering if they made the big discovery yet.
Then I shrug, not caring whether anymore. Their business, not mine.
(end of short story)
Oh come on now, would such a man actually choose to pick up Karen in the first place? He certainly is good looking, must have at least some choice.
Gradually an explanation occurs to me. See I look Jewish, triggering his knee jerk reaction of hate stare.
I'll bet he hasn't figured out Karen is Jewish yet. Should be a lively conversation when that happens.
I've just put on my pyjamas when Karen calls. Seems she and #3 had a long heart to heart chat. I brace myself, surely this is it, the big discovery.
But oh no, their chat was on S&M (Sadism and Masochism).
I groan inwardly. Surely S&M fans are nuts; to do so with a Nazi would be more nuts yet.
Hoping a tremor doesn't appear in my voice, I ask over-casually, "so ah who does the S and who the M?"
"We're taking turns. See I've been looking for a guy for S&M forever. And he admits he likes life's extreme experiences."
I'll bet he does.
After we hang up, I stare out the window, lost in thought. Soon however my thoughts rally. Combining one coffee house conversation on the theory of S&M with a limited knowledge of fitness, I realize endorphins are involved.
The body's natural feel good drug. How you feel so good after a brisk walk in the fresh air. Runner's high. S&M is the same drug.
And since both will be feeling it, I'm guessing they're hooked on each other in no time. That is, if you assume they don't make the big discovery quickly.
Chortling with wicked glee at the sheer perversity of Fate, I turn out the light and go to bed.
With Karen I have a reliable but not infallible barometer.
See the only way I hear from her is if things are going badly, she's changing a direction or the odd occasion she feels guilty for ignoring me. I'm not allowed to call her as she has a busier life.
And so, if I hear absolutely nothing from her, that usually implies things are going quite well.
Down at the bathhouse, a huge punchup erupts, spilling out into the yard. Journalists being what they are, and it being a slow news day, there were a lot of photos.
And it turns out boyfriend #2 appears in almost a dozen of these.
The police decline to lay charges, as it was clearly a fight by consent and entirely on private property. The bathhouse suspends the lads for two weeks each and that's it.
But still, I really should have heard from Karen. Surely this would trigger at least some angst in her.
Boyfriend #1 calls me, asks to meet in a coffee house. Given he's such a harmless chap and it is a public place, I readily agree.
Grim look, he hands me an envelope, "can you keep this a week, then mail it? She's put my phone on ignore. I don't want her to read this til after I leave town."
"So why me?"
Blush, "my so called friends are all a bunch of practical jokers, wouldn't trust them, but I've met you know you're ok."
"Thanks."
"I just don't understand. Wasn't I a nice guy? We had such nice conversations. But I'm guessing she found someone else." Then he chuckles.
"What's funny?"
"Well maybe it's Fate. Just got an offer from the Army. If I join, guaranteed I get the electronics technician course."
"Cool, that's the Cadillac. So, to paraphrase, even if she did dump you, at least her timing was good."
We both laugh.
I mail it the exact day he requests. And still hear nothing back from Karen. Oh I realize she wouldn't know I mailed it.
But still, if departure of #1 caused any angst, for sure she'd ring.
Naomi thinks it's a huge hoot, how #2 was "outed" in the paper, asks how Karen took it.
I reply I never heard back.
She whistles softly, "ah ha, means only one thing, just totally tied up with some other dude."
The pun "tied up" tempts me to laugh, but I stop myself. I really don't feel like explaining how that's humorous.
Then finally, I spot Karen and #3 at a distance in a metro station. We-ell, at least that's proof one didn't kill the other. And they do seem rather an item.
But still, I find myself wondering if they made the big discovery yet.
Then I shrug, not caring whether anymore. Their business, not mine.
(end of short story)
posted by afghangirlscifi @ 8:03 AM
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