Tzeporah 13
The first real dispute concerns travel. Tzeporah announces we should go away to Barbados for a month during the winter, to escape the cold, and she is willing to pay.
I have two problems with that. First, and I'd never admit to her, there were certain irregularities about my first arrival in Canada. Yes I've had Canadian passports before, but not since the era of hyperparanoia.
Second, and I can admit to her, pride would not allow it, I would have to pay half. I suggest Victoria as a low budget getaway, one I use myself sometimes. With low airfares and motels costing $650 a month in off season, it's perfect. Well no, she insists she doesn't like the cool and rainy there, it must be Barbados.
My hand shakes as I tear open the registered envelope from External Affairs. A shiny new passport greets me, with but one error, listing my birthplace as Jerusalem.
I phone the toll free number. The third person I'm transferred to sounds amused, "no sir, I can assure you, we never make clerical errors like that. In fact I happen to have your file on my screen right now. Let's just say we let bygones be bygones, aren't interested in your real past. What we are concerned with, what you may plan for future travel. Now, if you really are going to Barbados, and similar destinations in future, be assured this passport will present no problem. If you have other plans, just imagine how much explaining you'll need to do after showing that passport."
I shudder.
The money problem is easily solved. I get a three month term hitch at Revenue, working on T4 matching program. It's boring, but what do you expect?
And so it is, we are aloft. As we near Barbados, the hostesses pass out tourist arrival cards.
Tzeporah sees me fill mine out, "holy sh**, I never knew that."
"Knew what?"
"Don't play innocent, you know what I mean, born in Jerusalem."
I smile wanly, feel it's wisest not to divulge my conversation with External Affairs.
By now she's laughing, "it would appear Fate has a huge sense of irony, imagine that, You arriving on the planet in Jerusalem."
I pull a face, "well kept secret it was, not something you'd want to see mentioned in Der Sturmer."
I have two problems with that. First, and I'd never admit to her, there were certain irregularities about my first arrival in Canada. Yes I've had Canadian passports before, but not since the era of hyperparanoia.
Second, and I can admit to her, pride would not allow it, I would have to pay half. I suggest Victoria as a low budget getaway, one I use myself sometimes. With low airfares and motels costing $650 a month in off season, it's perfect. Well no, she insists she doesn't like the cool and rainy there, it must be Barbados.
My hand shakes as I tear open the registered envelope from External Affairs. A shiny new passport greets me, with but one error, listing my birthplace as Jerusalem.
I phone the toll free number. The third person I'm transferred to sounds amused, "no sir, I can assure you, we never make clerical errors like that. In fact I happen to have your file on my screen right now. Let's just say we let bygones be bygones, aren't interested in your real past. What we are concerned with, what you may plan for future travel. Now, if you really are going to Barbados, and similar destinations in future, be assured this passport will present no problem. If you have other plans, just imagine how much explaining you'll need to do after showing that passport."
I shudder.
The money problem is easily solved. I get a three month term hitch at Revenue, working on T4 matching program. It's boring, but what do you expect?
And so it is, we are aloft. As we near Barbados, the hostesses pass out tourist arrival cards.
Tzeporah sees me fill mine out, "holy sh**, I never knew that."
"Knew what?"
"Don't play innocent, you know what I mean, born in Jerusalem."
I smile wanly, feel it's wisest not to divulge my conversation with External Affairs.
By now she's laughing, "it would appear Fate has a huge sense of irony, imagine that, You arriving on the planet in Jerusalem."
I pull a face, "well kept secret it was, not something you'd want to see mentioned in Der Sturmer."
posted by afghangirlscifi @ 8:24 AM
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